How to Find True Love

Love is often misunderstood as an emotion, a sensation, or even as a thought. Often, when love is discussed or viewed in a romantic light, it is typically only seen as an emotion. People often associate love with acts of physical intimacy such as hugging or kissing. However, love encompasses a much broader range of positive and powerful emotional and psychological states, from a sublime state of blissful happiness, to the most intimate human experience, the simplest joy. Just as every emotion is either negative or positive in nature, every state of love is either positive or negative, in varying intensities.


Love is described as a natural and healthy emotion because humans need emotional security, fulfillment and other such things in order to thrive and function. In fact, without love, humans would soon become nothing more than neurotic, moody, depressed robots with no sense of personal worth. That’s why it’s important that we accept love as a natural and healthy emotion, instead of trying to turn it into something else. Instead of trying to romance another person, for example, we should try to develop and nurture our own relationships. This is easier said than done of course, but there are several steps we can take to ensure that our feelings for each other are healthy and fulfilling.

The first step towards healthy love is to learn your partner’s love languages. If you’re not very adept at this, it would be best if you two engage in a long-term, ongoing relationship training program so that you can learn the various love languages of your partner. Your partner’s love language could be as simple as how they talk, their choice of colors, foods, music, careers, or sports they enjoy, or it could be a much deeper and richer language that involves concepts like trust, power, and compromise. One way to find out your partner’s love languages is to get them to rate a specific aspect of your relationship on a numerical scale, such as how well they fulfill your needs, or how much they listen to you, or how well they care for you. Once you understand your partner’s love language, you will be better able to express yourself and your needs to them in your language, giving your relationship a richer and more fulfilling dimension.

The next step towards healthy love involves accepting all positive emotions. Love comes in many different forms of emotions from happy, sad, angry, to frustration, disappointment, and despair. Although we experience these forms of positive emotions on a daily basis, it’s important to realize that they often accompany negative outcomes, such as hurtful words and actions, which only serve to exacerbate the negative feelings. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking and destructive behavior once our relationship begins to feel unhappy, and in order to make a relationship last, it’s important that we work to change our negative patterns and behaviors, in addition to accepting all positive emotions.

Another key step towards healthy love includes being present with your partner and helping them experience their strong emotions as well. Whenever another person displays strong emotions, such as love, passion, or happiness, it can quickly influence your own emotions. By simply witnessing someone else’s strong emotions, such as love for another person, you can begin to understand how they feel, and how they process those emotions, allowing you to move into experiencing those same strong feelings yourself.

Another way to create long-lasting relationships is to continually remain sensitive to your partner’s needs. Most of us know that it’s important to be sensitive to our partner’s needs, but sometimes sensitivity can get in the way when we are faced with a difficult situation. Remember that even if you aren’t actively showing your partner that you care about them, if you are paying attention to what they are saying and responding to their needs, you are making them feel cared for and wanted. This type of sensitivity can greatly enhance a relationship, and if you find true love within your relationship it will spread to all aspects of your life. As the old saying goes, “the beginning of a great relationship is always the first step.”