Love – Is It About Being Happy Or Not?
Love is not easy. It is never easy, because love is about so much more than being nice or being smart. Love encompasses a whole range of positive and negative emotional and psychological states, from a purest virtue or extraordinary good behavior, to the deepest personal pleasure, to the easiest physical pleasure. Love is a divinely personal act between two souls that demands an incredible degree of self-discipline and commitment. And it is not just about loving someone else, although this is certainly a large component of loving love.
Love is also about respecting and honoring the other person’s dignity and uniqueness. There are times when love is displayed unprofessionally in ways that demean and degrade another human being. When this happens, it is time for love to be heard and for principles to rule. The message that one must always tell the truth is that love does not respect what is merely different from you. One must remind oneself often that love respects differences and can even tolerate them. In fact, many of the greatest spiritual teachers of all time including Buddha, Jesus, and Moses – showed great respect for people of different religions and ethnicities.
If love was an action that could be taken on a macro level – where one might visualize such a love affair at work or in sports, or in politics – it would be enormously powerful. However, such actions at a macro level only seldom translate into love at a micro level. A good friend is a good friend because he or she supports your goals and aspirations. If you have a difficult boss who constantly criticizes you without any rational basis, your love for that friend is fleeting and distant. Your friend cares about you enough to be vocal about your needs – and enough to ensure that you feel heard – but you have no feelings or emotions about the unfairness or stinginess of your boss.
In order to manifest love, you need to take an honest self-disclosure about who you are – your strengths and weaknesses, your dreams and goals, and who you are not. Then you need to bring those aspects of yourself out into the light of day in social settings. At first this may be embarrassing, humiliating, and stressful. But it is important that you keep doing it until it becomes a regular routine.
This is especially important if you are still dating. Love is much deeper and more rewarding when it is mutual. It is easy to get caught up in the hurry and pressure of a new relationship and lose sight of what love is truly about. When you see the love in someone else, be sure to give him or her the same consideration – love for yourself included. You will be much more successful in your life as a loving person.
The greatest gift you can give each other is love. If you feel unloved or unwanted, then you will never be able to love yourself. Give yourself permission to be happy and loving even when someone else is not. When you do this, you will realize that love is really more about being happy – regardless of whether you are loved or not.