The notion of love has been the subject of songs, poems and literature for centuries. It has also been a central theme in movies and television shows. Love is a feeling that can stir your emotions, make you act differently and even change the way you look at the world around you. But what is it exactly?

Some people believe that love is all about the feelings you get when you are around a person. These feelings are a result of chemical reactions in your brain. They might include attraction, jealousy and affection. But are these the only ingredients in the recipe for love?

Other people believe that the feeling of love is an emotion triggered by actions and behaviors. In this view, loving someone means taking care of them and doing things for them that are important to them. Taking the time to listen and be present for them are examples of loving behaviors. It also means making sacrifices and being selfless. Love is a lot of work, and it takes a long time to build the relationship to the point where it is fulfilling. But once you find the person who makes your heart sing, it is worth all the effort.

A third belief is that love is a choice. If you understand love in this way, it is possible that it can last a lifetime. It is a commitment to another person and a vow to treat them well, regardless of whether you are both happy or not. Loving someone can take many forms, from romantic to platonic. But the key to real love is that it includes a sense of self-worth, a willingness to make sacrifices and a belief that you deserve their love.

If you understand love as a choice, it is also possible that you have more control over it than you might think. If you see it as a bond that you can choose to maintain, it will take more than the disappearance of your feelings or a life change to end it. You might not hang out with your friend as much, or you might move to a new city, but if you still love them it will be difficult for anyone to replace them in your life.

Deakin University provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.

Romantic love is the focus of most of the discussion about love in popular culture. But there are many other kinds of love that exist and have been described by philosophers, scientists, psychologists and others throughout history. This article explores some of the different ways that people have understood love, and how this understanding can affect the kinds of relationships we build as a result.