For millennia, philosophers, prophets and poets have debated and theorized about love: what it is and how to cultivate it. Scientists, however, have been less comfortable studying it explicitly. But as researchers gain more confidence with the subject, they’re finding some fascinating insights about the nature of true love and its possible variations.

One key point to understand is that there’s more than one type of love. Many of us think of romance when we hear the word, but there are also other types of loving relationships. For example, a parent’s love for their child is different from the love between friends. A parent’s love for their children often involves sacrifice. The love between friends may be more mutual and empathetic. And some people experience a spiritual kind of love that’s more selfless than romantic or companionate.

A more pragmatic understanding of love focuses on human bonding. It’s a commitment to help someone overcome problems or move toward healthier patterns. This is a form of love that you can witness in the continued commitment of parents or friends to troubled children, even when their behavior is unhelpful and sometimes destructive. Then there’s the love that helps others find and pursue their passions. This is often seen in volunteerism and charitable giving.

There are several ways to cultivate true love, depending on your beliefs and values. For instance, you can develop a deeper connection with another person by sharing your authentic self gradually over time and prioritizing emotional and intellectual compatibility. You can also try to make connections with people who have similar interests by joining social and hobby-based groups or attending events.

You can also nurture a sense of closeness by actively listening and remembering details about a person’s life, including their fears, challenges and accomplishments. This shows you care and makes them feel valued. You can also show your love by encouraging the other person to be their best self and by supporting their efforts to achieve their dreams.

In a romantic relationship, there are three components that can define love: intimacy, passion and commitment/decision. Intimacy refers to the feeling of closeness and affection, while passion is a powerful attraction and arousal. Commitment/decision is a willingness to put the needs of the other person before your own, as well as a commitment to stick with the relationship no matter what. Ideally, these three components are in balance, which is often referred to as consummate or complete love. This is the kind of love that Nicholas and Alexandra had.