Love is one of the most complex emotions we can experience. It varies from the passionate euphoria of falling in love to the crushing lows of jealousy and longing. But despite its complexities, there is no doubt that love can be life-altering and profoundly affect our lives for years to come. The definition of love can vary widely depending on our own unique experiences, but many psychologists agree that there are some core elements of true love.

When we first fall in love, our brain is stimulated by a jumble of neurotransmitters and hormones. Those chemicals, including dopamine, adrenaline and norepinephrine, can cause us to feel an addictive rush of passion, infatuation, obsession and lust. This is why your cheeks may turn flush and your palms will sweat in the beginning stages of falling in love, and why it can be difficult to think about anything else.

As relationships progress, the giddy excitement of romantic love can sometimes be replaced by the sturdiness and commitment of companionate or platonic love. This is typically reflected in a shift in the chemicals released in the brain, with dopamine and norepinephrine dropping and oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”) rising. As a result, our behavior becomes more stable and predictable. It is also at this stage that the idea of a lifelong commitment takes shape.

Another component of true love is caring for others and putting their needs before our own. This is often difficult, because our natural instinct is to be selfish for survival purposes. However, when we genuinely care for someone else, it is hard to hold them in contempt or treat them badly.

Finally, true love is accepting and embracing the whole person – warts and all. This includes those little quirks and oddball habits that make you uniquely you, such as your obsessive collecting of stamps or your Sunday morning ritual of making waffles in your pajamas. People who are in genuine, loving relationships embrace all of these idiosyncrasies and don’t try to change them or make them conform to their own standards.

While there are many different ways to define love, one thing is clear: When we truly love someone, we put their well-being above our own. This can be a challenge in today’s fast-paced, high-tech world, where it is easy to neglect our own health and well-being for the sake of our career or children. However, the rewards for a lifetime of selfless love can be tremendous. Just think of the countless examples of individuals who have practiced selfless love in their work and personal lives, such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey.

So the next time you think about who or what you love, remember that the most important aspect of loving anyone is to be able to show your feelings consistently and honestly. If you can do that, then you are on your way to a fulfilling relationship and a healthy lifestyle.